Messages for birthdays, holidays and hard days after you are gone

Choose the days that matter to them

A message on a random day is a nice surprise. A message on the day someone is missing you most can be a comfort they remember for years. Think about which days will be hardest or happiest for each person, then write for that day.

Birthdays

Their first birthday after you are gone is often the hardest one. A short message that says "happy birthday, I am proud of you" can make it easier. You can send one each year, or one for a milestone like a fortieth or a fiftieth.

Holidays and family traditions

If you were the one who always cooked, hosted or told the same story, a message on that day keeps you in the room. Mention the tradition by name and say why you loved it.

Weddings, graduations and new babies

These are days you may have wanted to be there for. You cannot, but you can tell the person what you saw in them, and what you hope their life holds. For a grandchild who is not born yet, you can write a message that says "I never got to meet you, but I already loved you."

Anniversaries of your death

This is a hard day for the people closest to you. A few steady words, such as "I am okay, you did enough, and I want you to be kind to yourself," can help more than a card.

Days with no occasion

A message on an ordinary day, "I was thinking of you," can be the one that lands most gently.

Do not send everything at once

Spread your messages over the years. A little at a time lets someone hear from you again and again, without being overwhelmed on the first day.

Ready to start? Read what to write and how to make sure it arrives.